Pichle Saat Dino Mein....

A few days back, it was in news that Shahid Kapoor was miffed at Utv for refusing to promote the movie citing the no-brand value of Shahid and Genelia “brand” . Shahid was going something like, “ Fab kaminey hain, Faale fab ke fab.” I saw it yesterday and half an hour into the movie, you realise that actually Ronnie Screwala is quite a businessman. He obviously had seen the movie and then wanted to save money and also wanted to earn money and he did not want to turn his viewers away so he did that whatever he did. Well, I started reading a business newspaper today and realized that it is as complicated a stuff as my last sentence, and Ronnie Srewvala is quite a businessman. So he tricked Shahid and me and my friends to do what he wanted. So, I went to watch the movie and quite soon realised that had Shahid actually seen the movie after acting in it, he might have saved his spleen for the scriptwriter and the music director instead of Ronnie. And this is supposed to be a musical . Kambakht Ishq was a better "musical", and considering it was from Anu "bebo main bebo" Malik, that is saying something. Shahid tries his best, hams as Srk does , dances as he usually does, but the people in charge contrive against him rather painfully. Reminds me of another bright talent Ranbir Kapoor who in my opinion is still waiting for the script to justify his abilities. Shahid has had Kaminey and Jab we met, but they have been disconcertingly interspersed with a kismat konnection , fool and final and now this. The last movie I watched before this was 3 Idiots and that was only 4 days back . Chance pe Dance doesn’t even tempts comparisons in even the remotest of the senses. I was called an idiot for about 15 days for having not seen 3 Idiots yet. I am again in danger of being called an idiot for having watched Chance pe Dance.

Last few days have been a bit interesting for me . Of course new year arrived , I came back to college, we played Sri Lanka again, and lost or won , I don’t know. Domestic cricket has been more interesting. Mumbai won while I wanted Karnataka to prevail , but importantly BCCI lost as well . And they say IPL is reviving domestic cricket. And also I watched these two movies. And talking of movies, these days there is a lot of autism and Khan on T.V. They have been promoting it all right. But to me it started in all earnest on 15th August 2009 . If I remember correctly, a certain soul was detained a few months back at an airport in US and he cried hoarsely for everyone to listen,” My name is Khan. My name is Khan”. And dear me, did everyone oblige . For me, that was the first look, and the first step. Anyways, by the looks of it, by the end of February it seems that I am going to have a enormously huge punching bag. But, sigh... I will have to wait for that. And by looking at the attempt of SRK to play both Darsheel and Hrithik of KMG rolled into one sprinkled with shades of New York, I know that the wait is going to be an impatient one. Just one doubt for now, no disrespect intended but can autistic people get it up to produce children?

I also watched 3 Idiots , finally. But even before it was released, I knew that I would love it . Coz, one I am also an engineering student.. And two, I am also not doing engineering coz I love nuts and bolts, but because it provides me with the best chance to reserve a secure future for myself. And since I don’t want my college to hand me over a college leaving certificate before I am eligible to have one in case they come across this post, I will like to state that to study in a good college like mine , also gives me the luxury and leisure to pursue my hobbies which in my case happen to be only sleeping. Coming back to the movie, it was what I had expected. Hilarious, well scripted, superb , with punching dialogues, but still a bit jingoistic and melodramatic at places . But essentially the best thing about the movie is that it has its heart in place which is important for a flick like 3 Idoits which basically tries to be a heartwarming tale. There have been criticisms like the movie is far from reality and all that . But remember DCH? That was a movie which was far from reality. College is not all about fests, chicks , love stories , which is even more true in the case of an engineering college. But didn’t we all love DCH ? And who knows, If one has nothing to lose as in case of Rancho, one might end up giving a lecture to a professor as well. Criticisms remind me that the people who created this education system which is nothing but essentially an examination system were also human beings like us likes of which still exist.

Moving on, I returned to my college and also to Delhi in the process. It was cold in Bihar as well, my native place, but coming here makes me feel as if Delhi has never known summer. I have forgotten how it feels like to wear a thin shirt with a thin jeans and a pair of chappals. And everyday my classes start at 9 . Maybe my professor saw 3 Idiots and they felt it was high time to show that they are the one still in charge. Reverse inspiration, you see.

Back home , . I had a trip to my father's in laws, my naanighar that is. When on vacation, if you are married, a trip to your in-laws is mandatory, and if otherwise, a trip to your father's in-laws is mandatory. HaHa kanoon(law) ke haath bahut lambe hote hain. Sorry for the suicidal PJ. The trip was quite eventful as I met some quite quirky characters, quirkier than even me , so they stuck in memory. While I was there, they had another guest. He was a student who had come to give a scholarship test by Brilliant Tutorials, a coaching institute for IIT training. I had a chat with him

“To Bhai, kis class mein padhte ho?”( In Bihar, that is the standard line when you start a conversation with a young child. No wonder Patna has almost 1000 coaching institutes for IIT preparation. )

“ Eight going to Nine” Pat came the reply. Wonder why he was in such a hurry to grow up.

“ To IIt karna hai”

“Haan.”

“Kyun?”

A pregnant pause followed . Just that I thought that it was pregnant but it was followed by another long pause and then another till I realised it is not an artistic pregnant pause but just a detrimental, confused one. Had I seen 3 Idiots then , I might have tried playing Baba Ranchoddas, but I hadn’t . Maybe even if I had seen the flick, I still would not have tried coz I later came to know that the guy has been preparing for IIT since class VI and had already qualified in another scholarship test taken by Fiitjee , another factory for IIT students. His father was visibly proud of him. I just wondered whether the child is intelligent belying his age or his parents are foolish belying their ages. Class VI !!! Are they serious? When I was in one, only thing that was there was Science. Physics and Chemistry were when one slipped his tongue saying Patna and Calcutta. And a child there is trying for IIT!!! Don’t know whether expectations have gone up, competition has gone up, population has gone up or simply stupidity has gone up. I would much rather prefer somebody like my mausi’s daughter. She is also in VIII, and is quite vivacious, likes to talk and importantly behaves like her age and thinks that that father-son duo is nothing more than a walking hoarding for FIITJEE.

Another quirk I met was one astrologer. My uncle has great belief in him and took me there. He has predicted for one of my cousins that she will get into civil services. But there is a catch- she wants to get into engineering. So, being a highly knowledgeable person, he promptly replied that ok then, she might get into civil engineering. And my uncle took him word for word. Now even before she has passed her XIth examination she is told to study chapters like solid and fluid mechanics which might be beneficial for her “civil engineering.” He had also “examined” many other persons from my family as well like my father and my uncle as well.

I felt whatever shreds of belief I had evaporating when the man took out my kundali from a computer software. Then also I had a surge of hope that if not anything , I can at least be an astrologer. And I will definitely not be a dumb one like this . He had a look at that and declared that I will be a businessman when what I am doing is engineering. The amusement continued when he declared that as I grow up, my attachment towards my family will fade away. I had had enough and decided to get back at him . I asked, “You also examined my father. Was it there in his future that his son will leave him?”

He was stumped and tried his best to wriggle out which he eventually did with a little help from my uncle. But I decided not to give up so easily. He had told my Dad that in life everything he wishes comes true and things come easily to him. Now, this statement is as much an eyewash as the death in Ekta Kapoor’s serials is. So I tried to bounce back, “You said that my Father gets everything he wishes for. He won’t wish for his only son to leave him? Now. Will he ?”

By this point I was sure that in the next few minutes I was going to be murdered by either my uncle or by jyotishi baba. May be even he would have not envisaged such a swift end for me . Possibly to keep the sanctity of his predictions intact, he refrained from doing so. Anyways I had already realised that it is time to choose between my spite and my life and in spite of everything , the decision was not overly tough. So I decided to purse my lips for the next hour or so.

One more thing happened in the last few days. I became a member of Indibloggies where I registered my blog as a personal one. So I wrote such a long personal post in case they come checking. Though going by the frequency of visits my blog records by somebody other than me surely no one will bother.

P.S.- First day back in college I had a lab of metallurgy , the teacher asked us , “What is brittleness?”

“Sir, it is the property by which a metal breaks easily.” Almost everyone answered coz this has been standard question in every semester since the time I entered this college.

“Par definition kya hai definition?” He mocked us.

As usual a silence prevailed. And then he replied.

“ It is the property by the virtue of which , a material has got an appreciable length between its yield point and the facture point in its stress-strain graph.” He replied with a mixture of a winning and mocking smile.

So much for the breaking . Clearly somebody has not seen something which he should have.